Pregnant or Not?

Patience, something I really need to learn. Yesterday morning I took a pregnancy test. Now first let me say the pregnancy test says to wait 3- 5 minutes for results. Well I waited a good 30 seconds, gave up and threw it away. Well later on I got the feeling I should check it again. Well it showed positive for a baby. YAY, or is it to soon to say YAY. It was one of those early pregnancy test, so when I went to the Dr and took their regular one it showed up negative. So they did a blood test. After I swear the longest day of waiting I finally got a call 3 minutes before closing that said I had a level of 20 hcg. Well less then 5 is not pregnant, more then 25 is pregnant. So what about us in the 6 to 24 range. They said to come back in 3 weeks for a ultra sound to know for sure. Well for now I still haven't started my period. I guess I will just have to re-test in a few days with a regular pregnancy test to know for sure. So wish me luck.

FAMILY

wow I miss you guys so much. It's true what they say you don't really appreciate something until its gone. The first thing that comes to mind, (which I hate to say) my parents were right. When you get older the fighting stops and your sisters become your best friends. Even though mine are so far away from me, I think they will always be some of my best friends. I just got done reading everyones blogs. I realize I am missing so much. I want you all to know how much I love you. Its hard (very) being across the country from everyone. I know it would be easy just to come home. But after reading my pacharcial blessing again yesterday I know I am where I am supppose to be. I just wish it wasn't so hard to be away from you guys. Mom I love that I can call you all the time, and for those few minutes on the phone I feel like you aren't so far away. I know I wasn't the easiest kid, haha I am probably still not, but thanks for always putting up with me. Brett gave me a blessing the other night cause I had been struggleing being away from all of you. Let me first say how greatful I am that I have a husband that can give me a blessing. That is a blessing in it self. With that said, in the blessing he told me that heavenly father wanted to me to know that my family loves me as much as I love them. So that must be a lot since I love all of you a whole lot. My best friend and her husband out here just found out she is pregnant. So yesterday we went looking at baby stuff. I was telling her how bummed I was when I realized I wouldn't get to be around my sisters when I am prego. She also comes from a big family (7), and told me she is way from her family too. That is why God made us find each other so we could be each others sisters. In the short time I have know Goldy and her Husband ( who is just like Brett) I have already grown to love them both very much and know I wouldn't be able to make it out here with out them. Its nice feeling like I have some kind of family out here. But of course she will never take the place of my own sisters. I also have really fun sister in laws, they are all very different and I seem to always find a way to connect with each of them in a different area and an amazing mother in law. I can honestly say she is my friend, which is what I have always wanted in a mother in law. I am just so greatful that my havenly father gave me a way that I can be with all of you forever.

I appreciate and love you all very much.

Where to start.

So everyday I think about hmmm what can I write on my blog today. I can never think of anything. Until today (haha) and I realized there was so much I could write about this last week. Last Saturday Brett and I went and did a temple session with Bretts Mom. It was soooo good to go back. I hadn't been back since Brett and I's wedding. I just couldn't stop smiling the whole time I was there. I love the peaceful feeling that you get. Like nothing can harm you. I don't know if I have ever really told my sister Julie how greatful I was that she went through with me my first time. But I couldn't stop thinking about it and how we both got a bad case of the giggles.

After the temple we went to the state fair. It was a lot fun. They had some really good food, grilled corn, turkey legs, funnel cakes, hush puppies and a lot more. I thought Brett was in heaven. He has been talking about the state fair since we met. I forgot how fun it was to see all the little farm animals. It was also just good to get out in the air. Its been really hot here lately and it cooled down to the mid 70's.

We decided to leave Simon at Brett's parents house for the week since we will be heading back up there this weekend for a baby blessing. Its crazy how much we miss the little guy. We thought it would be nice to have a break. But its kinda weird not having him sitting the window waiting for us to get home. Then running to the door. Its always nice to know you have some one waiting and excited to see you when you get there. But I will say it has been kinda nice not having someone crawl up in your bed in the middle of the night and squeezing his way between to the two of you. I guess he is just getting us ready for when we have kids crawling in bed with us at night.

What's Missing?

Well Brett and I decided something was missing. Let me first say we wanted to wait a few years before having kids. But lately I have been feeling like something was missing, a baby. So Brett and I decided to pray and fast about it last Sunday. Well that night I had a dream. It was a very simple dream but gave us the answer we needed. I was just sitting there holding a baby. No name, no gender, just a baby. But I was so happy in my dream. Then when I woke up I felt sad. So we decided that it must be time for us to bring a little baby shurtleff to our family. I am not pregnant yet. We are hoping to change that soon.

How did I get so lucky?

Today I realized what a lucky girl I am. I may not have the job I want, or be living in a house yet. But what I have so many people look for their whole life and never get, LOVE. I have the most amazing husband. I never thought I would find someone so understanding, so compassionate, and so incredibly patient. But I did and I found it all in one person. I just wanted everyone to know how grateful I am to have such a wonderful husband.