My Angel Baby
To the baby that I carried
But never seen your eyes
Or tell you how much I loved you
Or ever to hear your cries.
You will never be forgotten
The excitement we had for your coming.
When I realized I'd never hold you,
The feeling I had was numbing.
My angel baby is who you are.
My angel baby you'll always be.
Your loving memory will live in my heart
So you will always be right here with me.
Brett and I went to the hospital tonight. I had been spotting all day and decided to just go to the ER tonight. I could have waited for tomorrow but Brett wouldn't have been able to go with me. After doing another Ultrasound they told me that the pregnancy wasn't a vital pregnancy. They would have my Dr. follow up with me on the best way to proceed from here. Although I was extrememly sad, it was also nice to finally have an answer. Now the healing can begin. I am sad, but not angry. I know that if something was wrong that this is my bodies natural way of dealing. Hopefully we will get another chance. Until then, I am sure Kaiya will keep us pretty busy. Thanks for all the love and support. For you Utah folk, we'll see ya soon.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Well, I have been trying to decide if I was going to post about this. Then I decided, since this is also like my journal I decided I should. Last week I went in to have my first Ultrasound. When I was there the tech was awful. She didn't talk to me the entire time. At the end she told me she would send the pictures to my Dr. I was soo confused. I never got to see my baby. I called my Dr freaking out a bit and when they called me back they explained that I was showing 4 weeks behind what I should be. I was showing 5 weeks and 4 days, and I should have been 8 weeks 4 days. So the Dr said I either miscarried and got pregnant again right away or I miscarried and my body just hadn't let go yet. I called Brett and let him know, and he came straight home from work to be with me. I have been doing pretty good. I will admit I have cried off and on, but thanks to Kaiya, our move and painting our new house I have been able to stay pretty busy. The last couple days I have been spotting a little which makes me think more that I am not pregnant and my body is catching up. I have a Ultrasound appointment tomorrow to see if the baby has grown at all. If not they will know for sure that I have miscarried, if it has then it looks like I am pregnant again. I am just so frustrated with not knowing one way or another. But I know I have been through worse and that God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle. I will keep everyone updated when I know. Friday we are off to Utah for my little sisters wedding. After all this stress it will be nice to get away. Oh yeah and Brett and I started school last Friday. AHHHH the joys of life. On a better note, we are in our new house. YAY!! I will post pictures as soon as we get everything put together.
Monday, August 10, 2009
We are moving, and I should be packing right now. Why do we always move on such short notice. We found a house for rent that was within our budget and we move in Friday. Someone is taking over our apartment on Saturday. So it's a rush rush rush move. On top of that, this house needed a whole new paint job on the inside. So Brett and some friends spent all day Saturday painting. Brett went back yesterday and still only have a first coat. So the next few nights after he gets off work will be filled with painting. we are trying to get it all painted before they put all new carpet through the whole house toward the end of the week. But the house is so cute. It has 3 bedrooms.. YAY a room for the new baby.. 2 bathrooms, kitchen, living room, dinning room (which we will use for an office) a gas fire place :) a big deck that is fenced in a yard and a garage. We are also excited to finally have enough room to get our dog back. He has been staying at Brett's parents house since they have a big yard. Kaiya loves dogs so I am excited to watch the two of them play. I am sure you can all look forward to some fun videos of the two of them to come. Well I better go back. I posted a picture of the outside of the house. It's from google earth so it was taken I think at Christmas time. Oh Yeah after all this moving we head to Utah on the 21st for my little sisters wedding on the 22nd. We will be in need of a vacation by then. OH yeah and one more thing, school starts for both of us this Friday. We are both goingn full time, but all of our classes are online. BUSY BUSY BUSY Family
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
OH my gosh, I am 27. It's so weird when birthdays come around because I still think of myself as 21. I guess it helps that I don't look my age, nor does my husband. Anyways, although my life is not where I thought it would be at 27. I couldn't have imagined how great it is. I have an awesome loving husband, an amazing daughter a baby on the way, a roof over my head, money in the bank, and friends and family that love and support me. What more could I ask for?